Saturday, July 31, 2010

What should I do? Sould I believe him or is he guilty & needs to get out? 24/f real advice is appriciated!?

I don't trust my BF, but he swears up %26amp; down that I have no reason for not trusting him %26amp; that he is not cheating on me %26amp; that he loves me. He just started a new job %26amp; works 1-9p.m. on Tue. he got home at 10.30 said he had trianing, Wed. 11.30 training again, Thur. 3.30a.m. he aid his co-workers ook him out since he sold his first car. When he got home he was so super sweet to me after he explained where he went %26amp; how much he loves me we had hot sex all nite long. I woke up at arround 6.30 a.m. private call on his phone...he was sleep so I went through his ****, I found 2 condoms (he claims they were handing out at the bar) a phone number, Tina....., %26amp; he had several missed call by females on his cell after midnight, besides the one at 6.30...I took my appartment keys of his key chain threw all dat **** in the bed %26amp; told him to be gone by the time I get off work %26amp; he went balistic about y I went through his **** %26amp; asked if he would have cheated how could he have had so good sex with meWhat should I do? Sould I believe him or is he guilty %26amp; needs to get out? 24/f real advice is appriciated!?
Sounds to me sweetie like he doesn't deserve your trust, were the condoms used? Out of respect for you women shouldn't be calling his phone anyway. Unless they ae friends and family members, ones that you know about then they shouldn't be calling especially not at all hours of the night. Maybe he didn't have sex with them, but the fact that he would go out with his co-workers and not tell you before he went seems a little fishy and why is he getting women's numbers. Maybe he went ballistic because he's tired of explaining to you that he is not cheating on you, but the fact that he would get upset because of you going through his stuff kind of makes me think that maybe he was trying to hide this stuff from you, which is hinting that maybe he is cheating. All you have in people is their word, trust is the most important thing in a relationship and if it's not there then you two have no business together. Kick him out good luck hon!What should I do? Sould I believe him or is he guilty %26amp; needs to get out? 24/f real advice is appriciated!?
You're welcome sweetie.

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You have a lot of evidence. A relationship won't last if there isn't trust.
You are right. He needs to go. And the fact that he could have sex with you shortly after having it with someone else is no indication. He could have showered up, or it could have been just oral that time (which would explain why he didn't use the condoms). If you want a final proof, just so you don't regret this later, find out which bar he went to, call them and ask them if they were handing out condoms, and if so, how many and what kind. You could also call the wife of one of his co-workers and ask her what time did her man come home that same night (make sure you ask the wife of a co-worker, 'cause his co-workers will probably lie for him).





But honestly, it would have to be the greatest coincidence in the world if he didn't cheat on you and all these things he says happened really took place. The evidence says - he's a cheater and since he's a cheater you can't believe any explanations for that evidence from him.





Do one final check on him if you wish, but I'm sure you've made the right decision, now make sure he doesn't weasel out of it. If he's not man enough to admit his mistake and be willing to beg your forgiveness for the rest of his life, then he doesn't deserve a second chance.





P.S. For a car salesman, he turned out to not be a very good liar ...
usually a girls intuition is good and if you believe that he is cheating, chances are he could well be. All the things that you have found also points to him being guilty. It's up to you want you want to do but why be with someone that you can't trust?
well delicious he had to just **** you so that if he had sex with some one else you wouldnt get suspisious and you should check and actually where he was for sure very nice nam e delicious i would love to meet some one like you
Sounds guilty to me too - he was feeling guilty when he got home and that is why he was so nice. Guys recharge pretty quickly - he easily could cheat and come home and go at it again.
It is simple he brought arousal for another ome to you.Did he makeeye contact with you while having hot sex ,coulda been thinking of someone else.If not cheating there wuld be nothing to fear of you going through his s**t.
You already posted this question and all/most answers state that he is cheating. You will get the same replies to this one. You should do what you want or feel you should do.
The only person who knows if he is guilty or not is him. It sounds like you are spending a lot of time trying to discount everything he does, and disprove any of the other possibilities outside of cheating.





If you spoke with him, and he tells you he is not cheating, you have to either give him the benefit of the doubt and continue the relationship, or you basically go with your gut and leave. If you continue to stay in the relationship with all of these suspicions, you are not making it any better on the relationship, or on yourself.





The worst thing is not knowing. But if you confronted him, and he denies, and you still feel strongly about it, just leave. It's not healthy for either of you to stay on that level.





I'm not saying I believe he's innocent or guilty. It's not my place to say that. I'm just saying, I've been where you are, and I just made things worst by sticking around in the relationship and trying to find more dirt. By the time the dirt did come to the surface, a lot of damage (no physical) had been done, that could have been avoided if I had just left when I had the strong suspicions.





In the end, it's all about you and your feelings and well being.
umm yea i had the same problem and just stop talkin to him... go cold turkey on him... with my boyfriend everytime he called i would answer and get sucked back into him... if u just leave him and make no contact and take some time for yourself like a spa day ( that what i did) u will feel much better about the problem and show him you dont need him
Its possible he ain't cheating.....YET. Give him a chance again. But if you are doubting him now, you will aways have that in the back of your mind and may not ever trust him again.
break it off and get yourself tested for any STD. he is totally cheating
YOU HAVE GOOD REASON NOT TO TRUST HIM, AND TO BE HAPPY YOU NEED TRUST IN YOUR PARTNER. GETTING RID OF HIM IS THE THING TO DO..
yeah...kick him to the curb, as you know, even if he didn't have sex with her, he was thinking about her when he did with you...
you got played like nintendo follow your instincts and leave him alone but if you really like him keep the window of oppurtunity open because people can change I'm living proof
leave him, to him you are his safety while other girls he only fools around with.not worth it
You really must take this as an indication of how he has been deceiving you no matter how good the sex was. Sometimes when a guy is cheating yes it is know that the sex with their partner will decline, but sometimes the opposite is true. I am glad you threw him out he seems to be not ready for a serious commitment and is into playing around, don't waste your time on him.
UMM sounds to me like he is guilty and if you don't trust him them it will never work anyway
I'd leave him
sorry darlin, he is guilty all the way. that sh*t happened to me before and i caught him in the lie tho. Cause he said one thing one night and then said something totally different the next day. then i got one of my friends that he didn't know to go out to the club were he hangs out and he was hitting on her and kept trying to get in her pants, she took him back to her place and gave me a key and told me to go in 5 mins after they went in. and he was trying to unzip her pants and get them off when i walked in on him. Just either set him up or just break up with him. either way let him go you don't want the drama and trouble in your life.
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