This is super long...but i need help/advice! please for women and men. all the advice i can get! ?

My husband is very confused. (yes were married, perfect time to be confsued right?) but anyways...


were having some problems, weve had em for a loong time, but neither one of us really lisened to eachother, more tried to get our own thoughts and things out. We've been married for a a lil over a year. but ive realized thru a lot of it, we werent really married. i was still my parents kid (did what i thought would make them happy instead of my husband-big nono, just realized now what i was doing) and my husband still wanted to constantly chill with his friends and didnt want to have answer/talk to me about what he was doing (did what he wanted to do). then the financial problems, were we ended up living seperate(still do) cuz theres no room for us and our baby together anywhere.


were only 20 and 19, so were still young.


but now with the problems that we had he decided he didnt wat to be married. thendecided he wanted to think abou tthings. then after we talked a few times decided he wanted to be with me. we gotta outta town for a few days and then he freaked out and got confused again. he said he doesnt know whats wrong with him,maybe he has commitement problems, which im re he does. hes never really seen commitment. his biodad, left before he was born never seen him. the guy he considered his dad(his lil bros dad), wasnt with his mom anymore and they couldnt stand eahother, then he died of cancer when my husband was 13. now his stepdad and his dont get along too much, and both his step dad and his mom got into a car accident and mope around there house for past how many years,not really living life.. i told him he should talk to a phycologist cuz whether he realizes it or not all that probably is affecting things.


hes pushing me away the only person who tries to not let him quit everything. he thinks something in his head, panicks, and ditches.it.


im like the only one who cares enough o worry about whats going on with him.


and now he said he needs a few more days to think things thru. well, i talked to him a few days ago, and i asked if he thought about anything. he said he did but wont really talk abou it. then he says a said a few days, its only been 1. so ok, i dont call him like at all the next day, until like 11:30pm, to check to see if he was ok (no answer). so then yesterday i tried a few times. i found out he supposebly went with his uncle outta state(his uncle drives semi) andsupposbly he'll be back in a week. now my friend talked the other day and he sounded mad that i didnt call him all that day. i just talked to my cuz and she talked (actually texted) to him and she asked if hes talked to me, and he said no, why was she crying? and she said well the last time i talked to her. and then says oh, no i havent.


so i dunno how im suppose to play this.


i think from him getting mad that i didnt call, and then asked if i was crying, that kinda shows he cares. but when me and him were texting last night it was nice, but then he said alrite i gotta take a shower, so ill text ya either after or 2morro, so then i said ve fun...love you. and he never texted back.


how do i play this?


do i call/text or not...


what do you think would make him think things thru and want to be with me again.


i dont know what im suppose to do..


this is driving me crazy!!!


please...some advice! sorry so long...theres more, but its already so long!


i want to be a happy family...and a really happy couple. ive been so depressed oer all this...


thanks a bunch for taking the time to read this!





This is super long...but i need help/advice! please for women and men. all the advice i can get! ?
I say, despite all of his problems , you do what you want to do. If its calling him, texting him or asking him what you want to know, just do what you feel you should do right then...You have a child together , you owe it to yourself and your child to find out what you need to know before you make your decision. Obviously he has issues, whatever they are, they are his. You will figure out what you need to do as you get all the information you need, but dont hesitate to call, ask or anything. Be confident, if he continues to reject you , you will get fed up with it, if you love yourself. Unfortunately you may have to move on but not before you are ready. You will be fine. Always put you and the baby first.This is super long...but i need help/advice! please for women and men. all the advice i can get! ?
I'm sorry but I can't take a 19 year old kid seriously, you are too young to be married, you should have known better. Marriage is serious business, two children playing house is disasterous.
He's got a piece on the side... Wake up! That's why going away made him freak out. Give him all the ';space'; he wants, just make sure he knows that you love him, but you won't sit there and wait for him to finish with his ';outside'; interests.
Hi. I skimmed parts of that, but the main problem is obvious and I think you know what it is: you got married way too young.





I'm not saying this to point fingers, but it adds an extra dimension to the problems any newlywed couple with a baby have to face. In addition to all the changes, etc. you're each watching the other person grow up. And that adds in the possibility that one of you might not like the adult you see across the table every night.





If this was me, I'd sit hubby down for a long convo about whether each of you is committed to this marriage. If so, you desperately need good counseling, where you'll learn not to play these silly games with each other. It's not about texting - it's about trust, reliability, honesty, etc.





Good luck!
You are both very young and it's sad you can't be just living your life happily. But the worst thing you can do right now is try to force him to make a decision. I'm sure he loves you and is probably unsure of what he can do right now. Let him come around to making the choice on his own, if you force him he will resent you for it down the road. Be there, be a supportive friend and encourage him. But take care of yourself too. If you are going to school, study it will benefit you the rest of your life.